Ivan the Brave

The first word that sprung into my mind when I saw Ivan was “short”.  Not a good start.  I actually don’t think he’s that short, but has short little legs and is a little over-weight.  I know I’m hardly over-achieving in the height department, but we all have some things which are attractive and for me, it’s tall and skinny.  I should have trusted my instincts when I saw his pictures – I knew he wasn’t the kind of guy I am normally interested in – but his email was nice and funny so I thought I’d give it a try.

We were at the bar in Seraphina and he drank really fruity white wine.  Our conversation was fine, interesting.  He did his part in asking questions, keeping the conversation reciprocal and interesting. But it was work, it didn’t have any natural flow to it. At one point I went to the washroom and made myself think up three new questions.  They were: does he have brothers and sisters, where did he go to undergrad, and he had mentioned a guitar at some point, so I could follow up on that.  I should make a cheat sheet of good first date questions to bring with me. 

That’s not to say he wasn’t interesting.  He worked on Wall Street for 10 years; worked at Arthur Anderson through Enron and ended his career in 2008 when the industry fell apart.  He explained what the Dow Industrial Index and why it’s an important measurement for our economy – so at least I learned something new.

Perhaps the conversation took work because I was distracted by his voice.  I was mesmerized by it, trying to figure it out.  His voice was loud, and had almost an affected quality.  He sounds like a commercial announcer, a voice-over guy, like he was telling me about the President’s day sale at the local Chevy dealer or how Geiko could save me money on car insurance.  I should have asked him to tell me about his favorite product.  J

At the end, he paid for our drinks, even though I really wanted to split the check.  I always offer to pay, suggesting we split drinks, but guys rarely let me.  Especially when I know that there is no spark for me, or when I know I make more money than them, I feel more comfortable paying my share.  But he wanted to be a gentelman and insisted on paying.  And then his card got denied.  Oy.

After we tap danced through that awkwardness, we walked outside.  I always try to avoid the first date kiss – even if the date is going great – because it’s just too stinking awkward.  So I always say “Gimme a hug” and reach in to hug them.  It ends the date on a high note, and more importantly it doesn’t allow for any potential kissing.  So I say “Gimme a hug”, lean in to hug him and on the way, he kisses me on the cheek.  I’m thanking my lucky stars I got out of the first date kiss with him, when he comes in <again> for a kiss!  I was so shocked, I just stood there.  I didn’t see it coming.  There was no flirty touching during the date, nothing to even indicate he was excited about me, and then out of nowhere, BAM!, the voice-over guy kisses me.  I have to give him kudos for having cajones.  Ivan the Brave.