The guy who called me a bitch

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a contender. 

I knew as soon as I first "met" Eli that there was something.  His first email to me was funny, open, sweet, and witty.  He said he stumbled on my profile while shutting down his Lovelab account. Immediately, I felt a connection and I remember having a thought like "wow, this could be him".  I was actually excited to go on this date.

We were going to meet at Barrio for a drink.  I got there about 10 minutes early (check hair, adjust makeup, find table), but unfortunately, it was packed. I've only been there one other time and was excited to go back, so that was disappointing, but it is so loud that I'm not sure it's a good first date bar.  I was just texting him to tell him that it didn't look good for Barrio when he walked in.  At 6'3", I noticed him immediately.  He looked just like his pictures, he has a kind face, warm brown eyes. Did I mention he's tall?  We decided to go to The Local Vine next door, I'd also been wanting to go there since it moved up from Bell Town, and it was much more low key. 

Over a bottle of Paso Robles Zinfandel, we talked about everything; jobs, family, travel, how we got here.  This was the first date I've been on where I didn't feel like I had to drive the conversation.  He was asking me questions, engaged in my life, wanting to know more about me.  He has so many great qualities.  He's soft spoken, loves his job and his family, and has lived a really interesting life - he lived for 8 years in Australia.  He manages to be humble and confident at the same time - a rare quality, in my opinion.  I enjoyed being with him, it was easy, I felt like I could be myself. 

And then he called me a bitch. That's right. You heard me. We were comparing locations we get to travel to for work and I told him that I spent a week in Puerto Vallarta in December. With a huge smile across his face and a glint in his eye, he said "You Bitch!" which made me pause, and then throw my head back and laugh.  Gotta love a man who can call me a bitch on a first date, and get away with it.

I'm not sure what we were talking about, but at one point during the night, an impulse came over me to grab his hand and I had to suppress it.  I really wanted to hold his hand and even as I write this, I'm distracted thinking about what that would feel like. I haven't felt a physical connection to someone in a really long time, certainly not in the last 4 dates.  You just have to have that - that magnetic pull that makes your body want to be closer to theirs.  In her memoir, Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert writes,

"One thing I do know about intimacy is that there are certain natural laws which govern the sexual experience of two people, and that these laws cannot be budged any more than gravity can be negotiated with. To feel physically comfortable with someone else's body is not a decision you can make...My friend Annie says it all comes down to one simple question: "Do you want your belly pressed against this person's belly forever --or not?"

I've asked myself this question many times. I've been on dates, trying to convince myself that all the wonderful qualities about the person across the table are enough, they could be what I want, I can love them... and I've even managed to convince myself and ended up deep in a relationship with really nice people who I didn't want to be with physically.  Little is as easy and accurate as to ask myself, 'do I want to press my belly against theirs?' 

At the end of the date, we both whole-heartedly agreed on a second date. He offered to get me a cab home, but I insisted on walking. We hugged goodnight (the first date a kiss was even in play, but no) and I started up the hill to home. Put in my earbuds and this was on my playlist. I danced the whole way home: