Online Dating Sites

In order to meet enough men to go on 52 dates, I've decided to try three different dating sites: E-Harmony, Match, and The Stranger's Lovelab.  Each site has distinct qualities which set them apart and try to attract different audiences.  I have been on both Match and E-Harmony in the past, so I have a good idea of what those are like, and will be adding The Stranger's Lovelab to the mix. 

E-Harmony: Introducing the man you'll marry (even if he lives in Auburn)
3 month membership: $137.85* (yup, it's that expensive)
When you first sign up with E-Harmony, the site walks you through a series of questions they call the "Relationship Questionnaire".  These are designed to decipher what kind of person you really are and who you will be a good match for, called the "29 Dimensions of Compatibility".  They select and send you matches based on these questions that you barely remember filling out. To update or change your answers requires asking customer support three different times - the first two times they give you a standard "no" answer and finally they relent. "Please note that in the interest of keeping the Personality Profile an honest assessment of your inner personality, we are very hesitant to allow any sort of changes to the Relationship Questionnaire."

Like I said, E-Harmony sends you matches, there is no option to search for people on E-Harmony.  This means you're putting all the control into E-Harmony's matching system, but it also means that you can't accidentally "bump" into people you know (awkward) and people outside your expressed requirements (geography, age, etc) never see you. 

I originally signed up with E-Harmony because I thought I would find more men interested in a long-term, meaningful relationship, but I haven't been wowed by the selections so far.  I find most of the matches they send me are from suburban towns I've never been to (where is Auburn, anyway?), and they're just not that interesting.  I have gone on a few good dates and even met a few great people, but they seem like exceptions, not the norm.  Maybe there is something in my "inner personality" that is looking for a divorced man who lives in Auburn where his only picture features him on a Harley. Hmmm...

Match: Introducing...everyone!  We hope you like them.
3 month membership: $59.97*
Match really started the online dating world.  You have a profile, pictures, and you fill out some questions (that are editable at any time).  They deliver "daily five" to you based on the questions and your profile, people they think are matches, but you can also search their entire database of people using any requirements you want.  This is when you can stumble upon co-workers, ex-boyfriends, and when other people who you have no interest in can find you.  I get about one wink a week from someone over fifty, or someone from Alaska, or a 50 year old from Alaska (they must be lonely up there in the cold and dark).  Aside from the "daily five" match really leaves it to the users to find each other.

I've been on Match in the past, and have met some really great guys on Match.  The nice thing about Match is that there is volume; it is heavily used and you're not restricted to the number of matches they deliver to you, like on E-Harmony. I truly believe that online dating is a numbers game - you have to date lots of people to find someone who works, so the more people, in my opinion, the better. 

Lovelab from The Stranger: Introducing the cool people.
Lovelab, 3 month membership: $39.98
Lovelab has you complete a profile - or an "Ad", as they call it - and then they ask you to complete some of their other questions, some serious, some comic.  A favorite of mine is the either-or section.  Kittens of Puppies, Amazon or Library Card, Tushy or Tuchus (that last one is my favorite).  Nothing is required so it offers a lot of personalization.  You can even do a video or voice recording which I find hilarious.  Most guys who do a voice recording just say "Hello".  It's awkward.  I have yet to see a video, I'm excited for that day.  Needless to say, I have not done a voice or video recording. 

Lovelab makes the experience fun and quirky, and it's safe to assume that the same people that read The Stranger will sign up for Lovelab - people who are interested in the arts, music, and the local scene. I've only been on The Stranger's Lovelab since starting the blog about a week ago and I'm already emailing with a handful of cute, interesting men who put "Seattle" as their home address.  Of the guys I'm emailing with, one is a writer and one is a photographer. I'm suddenly self conscious about my corporate job... am I really cool enough to be on Lovelab? It's too soon to tell, but I'm guessing the down side of The Stranger will be the small number of people who subscribe.


Overall, I'd say that E-Harmony is like a blind date set up by your therapist, Match is like going to Fado (hello men!), and Lovelab is like meeting someone at the first Thursday artwalk and bonding over a PBR.

I will keep track over the next 52 dates, from which sites do the volume and quality of dates come? First date is coming up, a nice young man who I met on Match. Stay Tuned.


*Beware, both E-Harmony and Match automatically enroll you in a subscription that you must go and cancel or they will automatically charge your card for another 3 month membership.  Cancelling takes a lot of steps and they make it seem like you're canceling you membership and not the subscription.  Lovelab makes a point of saying that they do NOT do this.  Points for Lovelab.